Hello, I'm James, and thanks for checking out my blog. I'm on a mission to support other dads who, like me, can often struggle with their mental health. 

As well as writing about the daily joys and struggles of fatherhood, I also have a podcast and have just written a book. 

If you are more of a listener than a reader and want to check out the podcast, click the image below.

Blog number 1 is chapter one of the book I have just published. Here's the book description...

If you want to effectively support your partner during pregnancy, & strengthen your relationship and mental health, keep reading...

If you're going to be a dad, congratulations, that's awesome! That said, if you worry about this life-changing experience negatively affecting your mental health, you'd be right to. Recent statistics show that up to 50% of all new dads experience depression if their partner gets postnatal depression. Are you concerned your little blessing might drive a baby-shaped wedge between you? Then your spidey senses are on the money because studies show that dads are three times more likely to die after a relationship breakdown than women. Are you anxious that the general stress of family life might damage your mental health? This is a justified concern as suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK. If any of these concerns resonate with you, don't worry; you're in safe, albeit slightly weathered, hands. I'm a happy and mostly, calm dad of three. In First Time Dad, you’ll learn: Week-to-week explanations of what’s happening for your baby and inside your partner How to be a big help, not a significant hindrance, during the delivery How to help your partner get physically fit and ready for birth What to expect at your 12 and 20-week scans How to keep her & your sense of humour during those high-pressure moments How to mentally prepare for the birth if you're squeamish What to do when you need reassurance but don't want to burden her Advice on having sex and maintaining intimacy throughout pregnancy How to keep calm when all hell is breaking loose What a birth plan is and how to prepare one What nesting is and how to use it to your advantage What you can do to develop, strengthen and prepare your mental health for the big day and beyond it What you need to do & say to ensure everyone’s mental health remains intact Road-tested survival tips for dads to ensure you don't continue to put your foot in it

I hope you and your family are okay wherever you are. I'd like to know your thoughts about this first blog post. I'd really like to know how I can improve it so you might be tempted to return. If you have some suggestions, please leave a comment.

Do you have a question about marriage or parenting you want me to try answering? 

If so, leave me a comment. I hope you enjoy Chapter 1.

All the best 

James

First Time Dad- Week 1

How Does Your Partner Know She’s Pregnant?

The number one sign is that your partner's period hasn't arrived when she expects it. If you have been with your partner for a few months or

longer, you may “sense” when it's her time of the month. This “sense” may also be what inspires you to move the knife block into the garage.

Survival Tip

If you suspect she's on her period, I wouldn't ask her if that's why she seems a bit irritable, irrational, or passive aggressive.

What’s A Period?

The “period” is the womb lining that appears once a month. Your partner’s body is preparing for ovulation (releasing an egg from one of her ovaries).

A period won't arrive if the egg your partner's body produces gets fertilised by one of your sperm.

5 to 6 days after ovulation, her fertilised egg burrows into the lining of her womb (a process called implantation). She is now pregnant.

Congratulations!

For a woman not planning a pregnancy or believing she can't get pregnant, week one may sail past without her realising anything different. A lot of her symptoms (fatigue, mood swings, and the constant need to urinate) may be what she is used to experiencing during her monthly period. She will know her body and when a period is en route better than anyone. 

Naturally, therefore, she'll be acutely aware of anything different. 

For example, in the second week, she may find cervical mucus in her underwear.

This is vaginal discharge that looks and feels slippery and stretchy, like raw eggs.

Your partner may also experience an increased sex drive, which should be more than enough evidence for any man to question something is different.

Women being the clear masterminds of our species, if she wants you to impregnate her, she'll probably manage just fine. 

In my case, there's a black low-cut top, a Tomahawk steak, and the second bottle of merlot that has quite a lot to answer for!

Another giveaway sign that she might be pregnant is that she may have an increased basal body temperature. My wife's hair and eyes were also noticeably different. In what way, I'm still determining; maybe brighter and a bit shinier. I remember one night, my wife seemed dangerously hot.

I was convinced she had the flu. She agreed she felt very hot but also that she felt fine.

How Can You Support Your Partner, Baby & Yourself In Week 1?

In that you don't yet know she's pregnant, the best you can do is to continue being the loving and supportive husband or boyfriend I imagine you can be.

She may think it's her period making her tired and grumpy as opposed to being pregnant. I live by the idea that it's better to be kind than right and invest in the more oversized bag of Maltesers.

If her mood triggers you and you can feel cross or frustrated, create some physical distance. 

Go for a run, or a walk or win some serious brownie points by doing that

DIY project she’s still on about.

Chapter Takeaways

1. Continue to be the loving and supportive man you can be.

2. If you're frustrated or cross at her moodiness, put physical distance between you and go for a walk.

3. Go to a shop and buy her chocolate on the way back from your calming walk.

“Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.”

- Anne Geddes, World Renowned Australian Photographer

To read more of this book online or buy a paperback copy of First Time Dad please click on this link below.

First Time Dad

About the podcast

Dad Mind Matters, is on Apple Podcasts, Spotify & all other podcast platforms. I posts new bitesize episodes every Monday & Thursday on subjects relating to marriage, parenting and mental health for men.

About the Blogger

James is a happily married father of three and lives on the south coast of the UK near Brighton. He has struggled with his mental health for as long as he can remember and so First Time Dad aims to support dads through the exciting but daunting pregnancy experience.